6 Months On... 100% Real and Honest

If I'm going to be 100% real and honest... I never in a millions years thought I'd make it this far. If you asked me 5 months ago where I thought I'd be in 5 months I would have said 'hopefully dead' and that's me being 100% truthful and transparent. I didn't see the light at the end of the tunnel, I didn't see a way out of how I was feeling, I couldn't even face the idea of being alive the next day let alone making it to 6 months. I'd like to say that I am back to 'normal' now and yeah on the surface I am but I still know that I am still very much emotionally and mentally damaged from the whole thing. I am definitely over my ex but I know for sure that I am not over the things the happened after the break up. The emotional and mental damage it has left me with is at times unbearable, to the point where I feel like I need a clean slate completely. To the extreme where I've been researching moving abroad to get away and had visa companies calling me everyday. I can't stand staying in this city anymore. I went to Essex for a night last weekend and for the first time in months, I felt free. I didn't feel on edge whenever I was driving around, I felt like I could actually breathe and not feel suffocated by the anxiety of seeing the person who made my life hell. Again, I'm being 100% real with you when I say this but I am terrified of seeing my ex. I have had their new girlfriends friends following me around in their cars, stalking all my social medias (so hey if you're reading this, kindly leave me alone) I just don't understand why I'm being followed when I have never even met these people and have nothing to do with them. Wherever I go, I feel like I'm being watched 24/7. My ex knows where I live so for all I know they've told these people where I live. I can't leave the house without checking over my shoulder every 5 seconds. Luckily I have a dash cam fitted in my car so its all recorded and taken note of. It's just getting beyond a joke. I thought that my ex was finally out of my life completely and that I could just carry on my life but clearly that's not the case. Right now, my current state of mind is that I need to move away from this city to get away from everything. The only thing keeping me here is my family, I don't want to move away from them because they're my world and my rocks. I'm torn between moving away for my own peace of mind and mental state or staying with my family to be around my loved ones and just deal with the fact I'm being watched and stalked everyday. Other than all of that, I am a lot happier than I was, I've been keeping on top of taking my meds which I never used to be able to do. I've been doing things that make me happy for a change, making my own plans and doing my own thing. If there's something I've learnt these past 6 months is that at the end of the day, all you've got in this world is yourself, so do things that make you happy, do things that are going to be worth while, do things that you enjoy doing, not just because your partner or friends like doing it, do it for you. You should be your priority!